Dude, I Must Be Smart After All

One thing I never expected to happen in my whole life is getting an e-mail declaring I had made an “exemplary academic accomplishment.” Some guy named Larry Burns sent me the e-mail this week (to which he had forged the name of the president of the University of Central Arkansas) informing me that I have been named to the Presidential Scholars List. I assume it’s because I made straight A’s for the summer and fall semesters.

I’ve never made straight A’s before. In fact, I don’t think I ever made straight A’s and B’s. Not even in first grade. Back when I was going to school at the age you’re supposed to go to school I was not into homework and paying attention in class and all that. It’s truly a miracle that I got a college degree from a minor state college in Kansas. I realize we’re not talking Harvard here, but still.

And it’s kinda lame that all I got was an e-mail, no certificate, not even a real signature from a major UCA dignitary. But I’d like to join Larry Burns and possibly Dr. Allen C. Meadors in thanking those of you “who may have encouraged [me] toward this exemplary academic accomplishment.”